H i s t o r i c O r a n g e !
Sunday, April 02, 2006
  Laundry of Greyskull
So, have you ever smelled the scent of decade, or more, old action figures? The decay of plastic that has been through many children's hands, rolled in dirt, sand or grass and most defiantly played with in the bathtub. If you know the smell then I congratulate you for your tenure as a child who had the opportunity to entertain oneself with plastic toys that must have smelt of new cars, or something much like it when they were freshly released from their $8.00 enclosure.

Now that I have refreshed your memories of days gone by, I want to draw your attention to my pants. The pants I am wearing right now, at this moment. Not sitting at the computer in my underwears or naked, no, not at all.

Back to my pants. My pants, for whatever reason only known by the contents of a bottle of detergent with bleach, have taken upon the smell of what I remember my brother's He-Man action figures to smell like. How da fuck did dis happen?

The problem with this is not so much the smell, as I am likely to be someone who isn't offended by it. Rather, my olfactory centers are peeved primarily because I put these particular jeans in the wash to purge the putrid smell of tobacco smoke that permeated them from last Friday when I partook in some partying with Dave, Forest and Steve. Now they smell like the stale funk of action figures. Also, you should know that the bottle said that it was scented "Mountain Fresh" which I suppose what they really mean is a fresh pile of old toys. Not all of my laundry reeks at the same degree as my jeans, although I suspect that is because jeans are denser than t-shirts and underwears.

So, how do I end this? Should I say, "buy this detergent, it makes you smell like decrepit Ninja Turtles"? Or should I just say, "don't use dat shizz"? Really, I feel like I should say both but I actually want to say that my jeans just smell like crap.

Crap. The scent of my pants.
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